Sunday, June 26, 2016

It Happened to Me

Everyone is always so quick to judge, especially parents. It's so easy these days, with 24-hour news feeds, apps, and the internet to read or hear a story pertaining to the misfortune of a child and assume the parents were negligent in some way. We obliterate them within seconds of hearing a child was hurt -or worse- and without any facts, criticize their parenting skills and ask how they could have let that happen?!

Well, of course, I have made rash remarks about other parents before getting the facts because it makes me feel better as a mom. It's easy to say that you would never let your child do something that would put them in danger, only to realize that you have but been lucky enough to have had nothing happen to them. It's actually a typical day for me with my youngest, who, by all other accounts, is the most daring and adventurous little man. He's fearless, which is terrifying for me and makes my days filled with worry, extra precautions, and the anticipation that a trip to the ER is on the verge.

So was the case about three weeks ago. It finally happened. It didn't make national news and my son is fine, but it happened. I took my eyes off of him for too long and my worst nightmare happened. My bold two year old let himself in the pool while I went to get his floaties.

He was right there.

Then he wasn't.

When I realized where he had gone, I ran over to where he struggled beneath the surface of the water and I pulled him out. LET ME JUST SAY, the fear on his face while he tried desperately to swim under the water, will haunt me forever. Once he was out, he coughed up all the water he had swallowed. I was with some friends and we did everything we knew to make sure he was comfortable and safe.

Here's the thing, I'm a trained water safety instructor and lifeguard. This shouldn't have happened to me. I've been a mom for nearly a decade and I would never call myself neglectful. I was getting his damn floaties when he walked away from me so quickly. He didn't jump in, he got in slowly and quietly. I know I'm not a bad parent, the kind the media would have painted of me had he drowned or had some serious condition from secondary drowning. Oh yeah, let's not forget the overwhelming fear of secondary drowning that accompanies a near drowning experience; again, something I've been educated on for nearly 15 years. Because I wasn't quite sure how long he was under for, we made an evening trip to the emergency room to have some chest x-rays done and to rule out secondary drowning.

Thank God he was fine.


But it was a close one. I'm not sharing this to warn people about the crazy shit that can happen to our kids, but to let other moms know that you can be a damn near helicopter parent and still, bad thing will happen. Scary, near death experiences can still happen to non-neglectful parents. It happened to me, and it changed me forever.


xx






16 comments:

  1. I'm glad your little one was okay. I feel the same way about when kids get left in the car. It is horrible and tragic and the parents will never forgive themselves so why people feel the need to put horrible and mean things on the internet towards them is beyond me. Accidents happen, thats the whole reason we have a word for it. We have a million things on our minds and by nature we form patterns one thing throws it off and bad things can happen.

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    1. I've also thought the same thing... I can't imagine how someone could write such mean things to others online. Where as there are horrible things that can happen, the majority of the time they are accidents. Thanks for sharing!

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  2. I felt myself gasping and holding my breath just reading this, the fear is so real! Bravo to you mama for sharing your story so that the rest of us are reminded that we can never be "too" watchful. And, a reminder to stop JUDGING all the other amazing parents out there that get shamed and shunned when a tragic event strikes their family. So, so thankful that your little one is ok.

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    1. Thank you, it was horrifying! It was a real eye opener, that's for sure! Judgement is never the right way to go when something bad happens.

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  3. Big hugs. I'm sure that was a terrifying experience, I cannot even imagine. So glad he's ok!!

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  4. i am glad your little one is o, yes people tend to judge alot i am not yet a mom but i hav friends who are and seeing them somtimes with their kids and punishing them i cant judge because theyshould know how to train their child and why they are punishing them for what they did
    www.mssparkleandglow.com

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    1. Yes, it's hard to know how you'd handle a situation until you have children of your own. Thank you for sharing!

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  5. This is so terrifying, and exactly what I'm worried about with my little one, who loves the water! Kids are quick! This can literally happen to anyone. You take your eyes off them for a minute and they're gone. I feel like parents are very damned if they do damned if they don't. Watch them too closely and you're a 'helicoptor parent' not closley enough (for other people's standards) and you're irresponsible. We just can't win.

    So glad you're son's okay.

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    1. Thank you. You are so right... there's just no winning! Thanks for sharing!

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  6. That is so scary! I'm so sorry that this happened to you and your little one. Things can happen in a split second and change your life forever. When Brooke (now 22) was a toddler my husband and I took her and her older sis Ashley to the California State Fair. We were in the animal exhibit and there were large standing fans with heavy steel blades going to keep the animals cool. I turned to check on 4-year-old Ashley and when I looked back I saw that Brooke had put her fingers into the fan casing. Thank God my reflexes were quick enough and I grabbed and pulled her straight back. The tips of her fingers were almost touching the blades. My heart still skips a beat remembering this terrifying incident. Just remind yourself that you are a FABULOUS mother. We try to stay on top of everything but things can happen in a split second.

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    1. Holy cow, it's scary to think what could have happened to Brooke! Thank goodness you were on it! Thank you for sharing your story... again, it's nice to be reassured as parents that others go through the same issues when raising children, yet, we are all great parents and just doing the best we can!

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  7. Thank you for sharing a scary, personal experience. It has all happened to us at one time or another. We should never judge others-period. Blessings to you and your sweet little one.

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  8. I'm so glad he was OK! It's happened to all of us at one time or another.... we live on a lake at and least twice I've had to fish a kid out of the lake. I also had a son leave the stairs during swim lessons when the teacher was not looking out and wander out too far. That look on his face under the water... ugh! It's been almost 10 years and I can still see it. Anything can happen in a second! Last year my youngest was almost run over by a boat... no amount of yelling or waving or anything was getting the drivers attention that he was right there. If I stop to think of all the near tragedies we've had as parents it's just amazing to me that my kids are all here, all in one piece, and I still have my sanity. It sure it hard to walk around with our hearts outside of our bodies.

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  9. How I'm so glad he's okay and you're there! The most important thing is that we all should be ready and cautious, all the time. We all are trying to be the best parents we all can be. Stay strong and enjoy the rest of summer..#OMHGWW

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  10. Wow that is such a scary situation. It is such a reminder that even when we are not neglectful we cannot control things that happen. So glad he's okay. Thanks for sharing. Happy to be co hosting with you at #OMHGWW

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